Male vs. Female

                I hypothesize that there is only one difference between the male and female mind: males favor the process and products of convergence, whereas females favor the process and products of divergence. From this single, hard-wired difference stems all sexual dimorphism seen in the human face, body, personality, and behavior.

Convergence and Divergence Explained

I define the process of convergence as inductive reasoning, connecting information, or finding similarity. This means the products of convergence are general thoughts, universal thoughts, or similarities. Convergence is the default way to think when information is presented simultaneously. In other words, convergence is consideration of many simultaneous variables to form a resultant thought.

The opposite of convergence is divergence, which I define as deductive reasoning (although I prefer the word “expanding”), separating information, or finding difference. This means the products of divergence are specific thoughts, situational thoughts, or differences. Divergence is the default way to think when information is presented sequentially. In other words, divergence is consideration of one variable to form resultant thoughts over time.

This is a standard hierarchy, which convergence ascends and divergence descends. The higher the node, the more general, universal, and shared the information. I believe information in the human brain is organized into hierarchies as a result of much convergence and divergence over a lifetime. A line represents a connection (i.e. synapse). A node represents a piece of information (i.e. neuron). My hypothesis is that men prefer ascending the hierarchy and women prefer descending the hierarchy.

                The standard hierarchy is one way to show how men and women think differently, but it doesn’t include the aspect of time. It’s important to show time because convergence occurs in an instant (with simultaneous information), whereas divergence occurs over time (with sequential information). The following picture is very helpful to understanding my entire hypothesis and has time as the horizontal axis. This makes the start of convergence the vertical aspect and the end of divergence the horizontal aspect – just like harmony and melody in music.

There are a few things going on here. Notice how convergence and divergence are separate processes. I did this because I believe this is how it actually exists in the brain: convergence occurs at the frontal lobe and divergence occurs at the temporal and occipital lobe. We don’t “go up” and “go down” a single hierarchy. Another thing to notice is that this diagram is hardly hierarchical – it doesn’t have many levels. That is just the reality of how our minds work. For most things, we won’t induce and induce and induce. For most things, we’ll “go up” one level and “go down” one level, and leave it at that. Lastly, notice the single node in the middle level that connects the opposite directions of thought.  All these things will hopefully make sense after some examples.

The above picture is a representation of how a child thinks, whether male or female. I believe most children use convergence and divergence equally, like an even balance scale. This means that for every time information is put together, another piece of information is separated. As a boy becomes a man, he increasingly favors convergence and disfavors divergence, like a balance scale tipping over:

Males develop the ability to use large amounts of information in the process of convergence. They also pay more attention to information that is general (i.e. the node on the far left) or presented simultaneously (i.e. the nodes lined up vertically). As a girl becomes a woman, she increasingly favors divergence and disfavors convergence:

Females develop the ability to use large amounts of information in the process of divergence. They also pay more attention to information that is specific or presented sequentially (i.e. the nodes lined up horizontally).

However, most men today do not have very “masculine” minds, but rather minds that are near even between convergence and divergence, like the diagram of a child’s mind. Nevertheless, I will still use the words “man” and “men” in this article as if referring to the average man. I estimate that only about 20% of men actually have the convergence-favoring mind. Why? I believe one reason is that modern society despises and suppresses most behaviors of the “masculine” mind. On the other hand, most women today do have “feminine” minds, so what I say regarding women will be accurate for the majority of women. As with any theory that deals with a population, what I say won’t be true for all people – only the average person, or majority. So do not deem it invalid based on an outlying anecdote, like a man who enjoys going shopping for summer clothes.

I hypothesize that all observed gender differences stem from a single difference in the mind: convergence vs. divergence. This is plausible if you can see that one’s mind is presented in four mediums: face, personality, body, and behavior. Face and personality show how the mind is. Body and behavior show how the mind is put to use.

Face

Of the four “presentations”, modern society is least likely to accept that a person’s brain has any relationship to facial features. So I’ll just say that a person with a convergent mind will have a masculine face, and vice versa. Likewise, a person with a divergent mind will have a feminine face, and vice versa. Based on composite (average) faces, examples of feminine facial features are a small chin and nose, and an absent brow ridge.

The face is a simultaneous presentation: many facial features, such as the eyes, eyebrows, and eyelashes, are shown in an instant of time. This makes it ideal for the process convergence, which is why men pay a lot of attention to how a face looks.

Men see all the variables of the face and summarize them with a rating on a scale of 1-10 – the product of convergence, a general value. The convergent mind is why men rate a woman’s appearance. Although it is possible to sequentially process facial features, it does not make much sense because they are simultaneously presented as one face. Thus, women do not pay a lot of attention to the face. Like the brain, the face cannot be changed naturally – it takes makeup or surgery.

Personality

                Personality is a sequential presentation (of the mind): characteristics are shown over a period of time. This makes it ideal for the process of divergence, which is why women pay a lot of attention to personality. Women extract a person for the product of divergence: unique experiences with a person. Here are some examples of personality traits that would show over time (vertical axis here):

It is possible to parallel process a personality, but it does not make much sense because it is presented over time. Thus, men do not pay a lot of attention to personality. Like the brain, personality cannot be changed – only faked.

The personality of the convergence-minded man and divergence-minded woman differ in many ways. Men focus on populations and communities, and the averages and similarities among them. The former is because they are simultaneous presentations, and the latter is because it is general information. Women focus on individuals, and the uniqueness and differences among them. The former is because they are sequential presentations, and the latter is because it is specific information. For example, men are more likely to generalize and think all Asians are good at math. Women are more likely to think that every person is special in their own way. Men are community-oriented and women are individual-oriented, as depicted here:

                Beyond communities, men pay attention to the things that affect the most people for the most time. For example, men are fans of technology like smartphones. For men, it’s all about ubiquity, universality, timelessness. Men pay attention to the general aspect of things, like cost, cost-effectiveness, overall value, and ratings. Women pay attention to the things that affect the fewest people for the least amount of time – unique experiences. For women, it’s all about the specific aspects of experiences, like mood, ambience, atmosphere, environment, and background.

In arts and entertainment, men and women also have different preferences. Something that is enjoyed by both men and women has both general and specific elements, which allows for both convergence and divergence. The best example of this is pop music. Music that mostly appeals to men has strong elements of convergence, and music that mostly appeals to women has strong elements of divergence. Men prefer music with many notes playing simultaneously – harmony. On a larger scale, men prefer many instruments playing simultaneously – chorus. The simultaneity induces the process of convergence; sequence induces the process of divergence. Women prefer many notes playing sequentially – melody. On a larger scale, women prefer one instrument playing sequentially – verse. This is summarized here:

In music, the product of convergence, or general element, is the beat. It is general because it is “unpitched” percussion, thus universally compatible with other notes. Secondly, the beat encompasses every note in a song. Men pay more attention to the beat than women, who pay more attention to the lead singer than men. By lead singer, I technically mean the instrument with verses. The lead singer has specific pitch and timing in its notes, which is not always on the downbeat. Secondly, the lead singer’s part changes according to background accompaniment – situational.

The same applies to video games. Men favor games with many simultaneous, yet unique, players that share a universal goal. For example, in a first-person shooter, the player must consider many simultaneous enemies. Meanwhile, on every player’s mind is overarching goal such as capturing the flag, or bombing the objective. This is convergence. Women favor games with a player that adapts to many sequential situations. For example, in Pokémon, many different types of Pokémon attack one-by-one, each with a strength and weakness against another type of Pokémon. For each encounter, the player changes his or her own type of Pokémon to gain an advantage. This is divergence.

In all five senses, men favor the product of convergence, general information, whereas women favor the product of divergence, specific information. In smell, a study found that women are better at discerning different scents than men.

For color, men favor the general colors: black, white, brown, and gray (silver). Men prefer their possessions to be in these colors because of the universality – these colors match with anything. Women favor specific colors from the entire spectrum to apply to specific situations. For example, a woman may want an orange dress for a picnic in the springtime. In hearing, women pay much attention to unique sounds and accents in speech, whereas men do not. In touch, women pay attention to the feel of unique textures, whereas men do not. In taste, women pay attention to the unique aspects of food, such as spices, flavors, or cooking method. Men pay attention to the general aspects of food: the sugar and fat content.

Body

Unlike the face and personality, the body is a presentation of how the brain is used. Just like you can change how you use the brain, the body is changeable. Like the face, the body shows many physical features simultaneously, which favors convergence.

This is why men pay more attention to the body than women. This goes for understanding a person, finding a mate, and self-improvement. This is why men spend more time and effort working on the body (i.e. working out) than women. The face and body are “products” as opposed to experiences – vertical as opposed to horizontal – thus favored by the convergent mind. Furthermore, the face and body are consistent throughout time, unlike clothes, makeup, hairstyle, etc. This is why men pay attention to the former and ignore the latter.

Except for sex organs, all differences between the male and female body depend on whether the mind is convergent or divergent. The convergent mind favors the general parts of the body. Thus, men use the chest with greater capacity and frequency than women. Over a lifetime, this produces a chest with more muscle and less fat. Women use the chest with less capacity and frequency, which results in more fat and less muscle – breasts. The same occurs at the other general part of the body, the butt, which is why women have fat butts compared to men. The divergent mind causes women to use the specific parts of the body, the fingers and toes, with greater capacity and frequency than men. However, the fingers and toes are not actually muscles but rather tendons, so this is not blatantly visible like the chest and butt. Thus, evidence of women favoring the digits comes from their natural abilities and tendencies. Convergent and divergent bodies are summarized here:

Men heavily favor the blue area and disfavor the gray area. Women heavily favor the pink area and disfavor the gray area. White area is gender neutral in regard to favoring.

Why have I defined the chest and butt as general, and the fingers and toes as specific? The chest and butt are responsible for general/universal movement; you can use the chest muscles to do a lot more than the fingers. For example, you could use your chest to push a boulder, or write with a pen, albeit sloppily. With the fingers, you could only write with the pen, but they are better suited for this purpose. The chest and butt have a broad scope, but specific, fine-tuned movements require the fingers and toes. If you’re still unconvinced, imagine sawing off the chest from an arm (plus chest).  The person would not be able to raise the arm, thus making it difficult to do a big range of functions.  Now imagine sawing off the fingers from an arm. The person would still be able to raise the arm, punch, push, etc. The same is true for the butt and toes of a leg.

                Women are more capable than men when it comes to the fingers and toes. Women are more dexterous than men, as evidenced in handwriting. A woman’s handwriting looks neat, even, round, small, ornate, and symmetrical, whereas a man’s handwriting looks hurried, uneven, messy, spiky, and sloping. I’ve found that males start off with decent handwriting that turns to rubbish by adulthood. In fights, women have a natural tendency to use the fingers to grab and scratch, whereas men tend to use the chest and butt muscles to swing limbs. Natural, “intended” use of the body, however, can be overcome through training.  For example, a woman can learn karate and use that instead of instinct. The biggest influence modern society has on the body comes from sitting all day. Aside from a weak lower back, this produces a fat butt, which is expected on a woman but strange on a man. Another thing modern society imposes on both genders is writing and typing – honing our dexterity. Again, this is expected for women but strange for men.

For sports in general, men have an advantage over women because most sports depend on the abilities of the chest or butt more than fingers or toes. The chest and butt are, after all, the general parts of the body. A very convergent-minded activity is swinging limbs, like in martial arts, because it is using simply the chest and butt to produce a spectrum of motions. A few other chest- and butt-dominated sports are running, sprinting, high jump, long jump, volleyball, javelin, and most types of swimming. Wrestling, grappling, archery, golf, etc. are gender-neutral because they don’t really emphasize use of the chest and butt. The only sport that emphasizes the fingers over the chest and butt that comes to mind is rock climbing. Thus, I believe more women would be into it if more had tried it. A “sport” that most women enjoy today is yoga and Pilates, which further supports my hypothesis. A lot of it involves balancing – putting a lot of weight on a limb and making minuscule adjustments with the fingers and toes to stay balanced.

Why is there such a thing as throwing like a girl, or running like a girl? Women use the chest to a much lower intensity and frequency than men, hence breasts. Thus, when it comes to throwing, the chest muscle does not propel the limb forward as well for a woman as it does for a man. The exact same thing occurs with running. When women run, the arms flail rather than punch forward because the latter requires chest muscle and ability. Of course, with training and practice, a woman can throw and run just like a man – with high intensity and frequency. However, this would result in a flat chest or butt, because after all, breasts and “booty” are no more than fat. Thus, for full breast and butt growth, I firmly believe women should avoid pushup and jump training. And men should avoid balance exercises (e.g. yoga). My belief is that we should strive to better our natural strengths rather than weaknesses.

Behavior

Like the body, behavior is a presentation of how the brain is used. Also like the body, behavior is changeable. Like personality, behavior shows itself over time, which favors divergence. Here are some examples of behavior that would show over time (vertical axis here):

This is why women pay more attention to behavior than men. This goes for understanding a person, finding a mate, and self-improvement. This is why women spend more time and effort working on behavior than men. A woman does this by expanding and applying an arsenal of things to adapt to many different situations. Personality and behavior are experiences as opposed to “products” – horizontal as opposed to vertical – thus favored by the divergent mind.

                The main behavioral difference between men and women is that men favor universal behavior and women favor situational behavior. Universal behavior is acting in the same, consistent manner all the time. Situational behavior is acting differently according to the situation, like a chameleon. The word “universal” is almost synonymous to “absolute”, and “situational” is almost synonymous to “relative”. Situations can come from people, places, things, and times. For example, if a woman encounters a baby, she will speak “baby talk”. If a woman has a medical condition, she will go to the corresponding specialist. If a woman goes to a wedding reception, she will wear particular clothes and makeup, and follow the etiquette. A woman’s behavior is always “If in Situation X, do Y.” Man is always “Do Y (regardless of the situation).” Women ask themselves, “(You know) what would be good right now?” Men ask themselves, “What would always be good?”

                The best example of situational behavior is shopping for clothes.  Women are always thinking, “Does this piece go well with that piece?” Or, “Does this piece match the unique characteristics of my face or body?” Or, “Is this outfit fit for the occasion?” Clothes are to be appropriate for the weather, season, or beyond that, society-defined situations such as cute, casual, flirty, etc. Men disregard situations and prefer clothes that work universally. Another well-known difference between men and women is how they give directions. Men use compass direction, distance, and time, which can be used for directions anywhere – universal. For example, “Drive for about one mile on the street.” Women use landmarks, which depend on location, and left and right turns, which depend on orientation – situational. For example, “Drive until you see the big orange sign, and then make a left.”

The “universal” mind is why men tend to be minimalists and the “situational” mind is why women tend to be maximalists. When men go out, they only bring the general things, such as a smartphone and money. Situational behavior works with an arsenal of tools. I imagine it as a woman with a fat purse going around and pulling things out when the time is right. When women go out, they bring a purse with many specific items for specific situations, such as makeup, breath mints, a book, a music player, a pen, paper, tissues, etc. Some walks in life unexpectedly favor the female mind, such as a hockey coach: the players on the bench are like items in a purse, and as the game unfolds, the team encounters different situations.  The coach adapts to these by putting out certain players, such as the guy with the highest faceoff winning percentage when there are 5 seconds left in the game. When talking, men use fewer words than women because men describe the general gist, whereas women use specific details to describe experiences.

The convergent mind is why men are goal-oriented and the divergent mind is why women are experience-oriented. When I say goal, I don’t really mean a life goal like “become a doctor”. I mean an overarching purpose for all actions. A man constantly has a goal in mind that dictates or gives meaning to all his actions. A woman disregards the goal and focuses on the experience by “living in the moment” and “going where the wind takes me”. For example, when going shopping, a man has a goal such as buying a shirt for a nephew. He goes in, buys it, and goes out. A woman goes shopping for the experience, so things of importance are who she’s with, ambience, music, crowd, etc. Men prefer to give and receive money over gift cards because it is universally accepted. Men see gift cards as restrictive money. Women see gift cards as admissions to a shopping experience, sort of like concert tickets, thus women like gift cards. For men, it’s about the destination, for women, it’s about the journey.

                Similar to goals, goods (products) are liked among men because they are the result of convergence, whereas services (experiences) are liked among women because they are the result of divergence. Most goods are convergent because they are ubiquitous, multi-purpose, and reusable. For example, a smartphone is mass-produced for many people to use many tools for many times. All this convergence is why men are technology enthusiasts and women are not. Women prefer services, because they are unique, such as going to a day spa.

                As aforementioned, men are community-oriented and women are individual-oriented. Men tend to work in jobs that deal with groups of people because it is simultaneous which allows for convergence. For example, Women tend to work in jobs that deal with people one-on-one because it is sequential which allows for divergence. For example, psychologists, nurses, and secretaries deal with people on an individual basis. When socializing, men enjoy talking with a group of people because the conversation material is general and meant for everyone, such as a joke everyone understands. Women prefer to talk one-on-one because the conversation material is unique, such as an inside joke. When reading, men read the comments section on internet sites, because they contain many voices of a community. Many comments are simply one-liners. Women focus on the individual, thus women read blogs, books, stories, etc.

When decision-making, men consider all the variables simultaneously to make a decision. Women heavily emphasize one variable and the unique experiences it would offer over time. For example, when buying a TV, men judge the value of all the features and give it an overall rating, which is then combined with the price for its overall cost-effectiveness.  Women focus on a particular feature, such as the ability to change channels quickly. For women, this experience trumps cost-effectiveness. Finally, it is known that men have better visual-spatial abilities than women, which I attribute to the fact that men favor simultaneous information while women favor sequential.

Misunderstandings

There are some common beliefs about men and women I want to dispel. Firstly, many say that men are driven by logic and women are driven by emotions. Men are not driven by logic but rather strive for goals, consistency and universality. Women are not necessarily driven by emotions but rather “live in the moment” to adapt to the current situation. Secondly, it is not true that women are more compassionate than men. Women care for people on an individual basis because that is divergence. Men care for groups of people, such as the entire family or community, because that is convergence, which is often misconstrued as being uncompassionate.

Thirdly, women are often misconstrued as unintelligent for not caring about the general, big things in life, such as theories, technology, etc. The more general (i.e. ubiquitous, universal, objective, and absolute), the more women are indifferent to it. The more specific (i.e. individual, situational, subjective, and relative), the more trivial it is to men. Fourthly, men are often misconstrued as (unattractive) pushovers when they are indifferent to the small details in life. The best example of this is when a couple is trying to decide on what to eat. On one hand, a “real” man knows what he wants and gets it. A situational pushover settles for whatever the woman wants. On the other hand, a “real” man simply does not care about the small things, such as the geographic origin of tonight’s meal, so he’ll say anything is fine.

Fifthly, aggression is not the reason men were hunters and women were gatherers. It makes sense that men hunted because wielding weapons and throwing spears requires chest muscle. Also, a herd of animals dispersing requires intensive parallel processing. It makes sense that women gathered fruits and grains because this is a sequential process and also requires dexterity.

In summary, things can be presented simultaneously or sequentially. Men pay more attention to and are better at the simultaneous because it favors consistent, universal behavior – convergence. Women pay more attention to and are better at the sequential because it favors adapting to different situations – divergence. Furthermore, men pay more attention to and are better at general information, while women pay more attention to and are better at specific information.